We all have a type of relationship with winter.

Our experiences from the past mix with our present day experiences of the season and it colours how we view and experience it. For some, winter is joyfully welcomed into their lives because it is attached to their favorite activities such as skiing, hockey or skating, which seems to be especially true for Children. For others the drop in temperature and the decreasing daylight only seems to bring negative experiences and speaks to another cold season they have to put all their energy into surviving.

As a counselor, my passion is helping people with their relationships, whether it be with their spouse, family member, or themselves. The state of our relationships with the most important people in our life tends to colour how we view everything, so much so that when it’s bad, life can feel unbearable, and when it’s good, we feel like anything is possible.

While our relationship with winter and, more broadly, nature is not quite the same as our relationship with another person, it is still a relationship that impacts our daily lives. We interact with the weather and conditions of each given day and make decisions in how we will respond to it.

For most of my life I have not been someone that enjoys winter; I love the way snow looks outside, and I love Christmas, but that has been the extent of my positive feelings towards winter for me up until the last few years. The memories that come to mind when I think about winter growing up are things like being brought to tears because my toes were so cold after tobagganing, and having such a bad experience skiing the first time I went that I later chose to do homework in the chalet instead of go skiing with my family. So, not the greatest memories.

Because I live in Canada, I usually experience winter weather for about half of the year. When thinking about Winter as a relationship, it seems equal to a family member or friend that lives with me for half of the year whether I want them to or not. Winter shows up unannounced, interrupts my routines, give me extra work to do around the house, and can make it harder to meet up with other friends.

It’s not always an easy relationship to deal with, but we have to deal with it no matter what. This is why 3 years ago I began my journey of learning how to enjoy winter more, and I’m going to share a few things I’ve learned along the way.

3 Ways to Work on Your Relationship with Winter

When it comes to improving your relationship with, and therefore experience of, Winter it comes down to some simple guidelines: pay attention to it, engage with it, and listen to what it’s trying to tell you.

1) Pay Attention = Dress for the Weather

Instead of trying to put on the least amount of gear that you can get away with, dress for the weather! Pay attention to the temperatures and figure out what you need to be comfortable no matter how cold it is outside.

I have always loved going for walks outside, but I would avoid it in extreme weather and in winter that can be for weeks at a time. I decided that I would invest in winter gear that I liked the look of and would also keep me warm (it makes putting on winter gear easier if you like what you are putting on!). I picked out new snowpants with a fun design to ask for that Christmas, and I found a balaclava with a pretty design to cover my face and neck, which I wear under my hat. I also purchased good quality ski gloves to keep my hands warm. In the end, it really has helped me get outside more in the winter.

2) Engage = Spend time with Winter

As I already shared, I did not do any winter sports growing up. As an adult I decided I needed to choose a winter activity that I could possibly enjoy. Skating is something that naturally came up because my kids are just at the ages where they’ve been learning to skate the past couple years and we have a nice outdoor community rink to skate on. Whatever the activity is (maybe going for more consistent walks outside is enough outdoor activity for you and thats ok!) it feels good to just get outside and breath the fresh air before coming back inside to warm up. So try to find one outdoor activity to try to be consistent with this Winter.

3) Listen = Slow Down and Expect Less of Yourself

Winter is when plants, trees and many animals go into a deep rest. It only makes sense that we would struggle more to keep up with our usual busy schedule and commitments. As much as you are able, try to carve out more downtime, make less commitments, and allow yourself to take it easy. Prioritize what you need in order to rest and recover before the active spring and summer seasons come around again.

In what big or small ways can you allow yourself to “hibernate” this season? We may not be able to completely shut the world out and slumber until it’s warm out again, but we can gift ourselves with an extra dose of rest in whatever form makes the most sense. Maybe that means earlier bedtimes, or spending more time reading. Maybe you block out a day of the week to stay home and have a nothing planned day. Or maybe you create more space to invite friends into your home if you need more social connection.

Whatever it looks like for you, try to focus on being more kind and understanding to yourself as you persevere through this winter season.